Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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