TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
