fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Randomize
