Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
