Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I need to calm my uterus...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
