my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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