Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
