Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
