Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
