My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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