I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
