I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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