We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
