Christians are straight up FREAKS
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
bring money and cleavage
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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