So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
