thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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