Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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