How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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