Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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