I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
