The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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