he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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