I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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