i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
