wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
