Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
