Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
