My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
