Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
