i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Dicks are not precious.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
