i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
