how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
