and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize