So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
