I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize