Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
