he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize