Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
