How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
