Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
