xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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