yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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