Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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