Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
