Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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