im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
