Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you have to choose: penises or morals?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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