He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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