Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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