Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize