Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
