This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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