So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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