what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
