she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They took my balls.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
