week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
