Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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