I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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