Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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