whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
